Edna Clouds

Hi! Here's one about a little girl who walked around with her head in the clouds...That can be dangerous!

THE CAUTIONARY TALE OF A LITTLE GIRL WHO BECAME KNOWN AS “EDNA CLOUDS”

A little girl named Edna Searle
Was really not of this cruel world
Her mum and dad were worried sick
Could not work out what made her tick–
Why was she always vague and woolly –
Half awake, but never fully?
“Eye tests,” said her dad, “she always passes;
Which surely means she don’t need glasses!
So why on earth does she keep knocking
Into things? She’s really shocking!
She falls up kerbs she falls down stairs
She’s always bumping into chairs,
Each time she goes across a room
She sends our Wedgewood to its doom
And woe betide cut glass and vases
And all our other objet d’arses -
She cannot walk a dozen paces
Without she knocks them from their places.
She mixes up her socks and shoes
And seems so utterly confused
Between her left hand and her right –
We swear she can’t tell day from night!
And when she goes to cross the street
She doesn’t look- nor pause her feet
But walks across without a care –
As if the traffic wasn’t there!
What is it makes our errant daughter
Do these things she didn’t oughter?”

Poor parents of young Edna Searle
Their world was in a total whirl.
They took her to the Doc to see
If he could find a remedy
Or even yet could diagnose
Just how her problem had arose.

He thumped her chest, made her say “ah!”
Prodded her appendix scar,
Examined places numerous
Lungs, patella, humerus,
Heart and chest and duodenum
(Had they changed since last he’d seen ‘em?)
Found that all her vital signs
Were running well on perfect lines;
Checked her psyche for neurosis
And then pronounced his diagnosis -
“I know your child is in a state
Of mind where she can’t concentrate -
I think she’s gone, well over the border
Into Attention Deficit Disorder.
She’s very smart and well endowed
But her head’s up there amongst the clouds!
Nothing’s real to her it seems
She just wanders round – and dreams.
She walks the streets of our great city
With definite traits of Walter Mitty.

There’s not much I can do to aid her
Just do your best, please, to persuade her
To change her ways. Speak clear, speak loud -
And get her head from out those clouds!
For if you don’t – I’d like to bet
She’ll soon do something she’ll regret!”

The parents of young Edna Searle,
They took her home, that wayward girl
And as they walked amongst the crowds
The people cried “There’s Edna Clouds!”
For word had spread of her condition –
But Edna – showing no contrition –
Would not change her wayward ways
And went on living in a daze.

Then Edna’s school, as some schools do
Took all their pupils to the zoo
To see the animals and creatures
That any modern, good zoo features.
Parakeets and iguanas
Monkeys scoffing ripe bananas,
Hippopotami and spiders
Bugs that burrow down inside us
Insects, beasts, invertebrates,
Chimpanzees in tête-à-têtes,
Lions, tigers, leopards too
Doing what those creatures do,
Penguins, Polar bears in lakes,
Lizards, alligators, snakes.

“This one here’s an anaconda”
The teacher said, “So don’t you wander
Too close to him nor any snakes
Don’t get too close, for all our sakes –
Your mums and dads would be upset
If by a big snake you got “et”.
And I’ll be blamed for choice of venue
If you’re dished up on serpents’ menu!”

Edna Searle though standing near him
Head in clouds, just didn’t hear him,
She wandered off in daydream mode
And fell into the snakes’ abode
Where a hungry boa-constrictor
From his luncheon menu picked her -
Wound around her, squeezed her flat
And swallowed her whole, complete with hat!
Edna, dreaming, made no protest –
It’s doubtful that she even noticed.

This tragedy now lies far behind us
But Edna’s fate serves to remind us -
That those who keep their heads in clouds
Will very soon be wrapped in shrouds.