Nurse Ethel was working one night on the ward
When Tom Pugh a plumber, rang his old whatsitcord
That emergency string
You’re instructed to ring
When you’re dying to pee - or your systems have stalled.
“What’s with you, Thomas Pugh?” Our Ethel inquired
She was no fan of Thomas, she was hungry and tired
In no mood to face
Such a medical case
As Tom - a young man by diseases inspired.
He’d been in her ward more times than she knew
With measles and dropsy and shingles and ‘flu
Surely no mammal
(Including the camel)
Had as many conditions as young Thomas Pugh.
He’d read Medical tomes, daily page after page
And every disease he had sought to engage
So that Ethel the Nurse
Couldn't wait for the hearse -
That would finally page Thomas Pugh off her stage.
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