Phobias - we all have 'em...

PHOBIAS.

In days of old when men were bold and heroes were normal folk
When cats were never scared of dogs and women had hearts of Oak
When the boldest knights wore ladies’ tights and nobody dared to laugh
Britannia ruled the waves those days and we never did things by half –
Nobody was scared of anything then and phobias didn’t exist –
But now we’re scared of everything, there’s a never-ending list!

We’re scared of heights and insect bites
Con-fined places, open spaces,
Flying, dying, crossing bridges,
Baldness, spiders, bats and midges,
Fags and smoking,
Chewing, choking,
Flying moths and crossing roads
Chickens, nuts, and flu microbes,
Unfriendly dogs and cats and rats
Asbestos, loo seats, baseballs bats,
Walking under workmen’s ladders,
Being bitten by angry adders,
Doing things on thirteenth Fridays
Going out on wet and dry days -
We’re scared to win, we’re scared to fail
Scared to swim and scared to sail,
Scared of being in the sun
Scared of having too much fun,
Scared of eating steak and chips
Scared of scoffing walnut whips -
Of growing old and being late
Scared of what might be our fate –
Scared of looking back, regretting
Scared of losing and forgetting –

But things would be a whole lot easier
If we would all contract amnesia.